technically speaking, i have four months left. i still remember vividly before i enter to OCS. i was afraid. so so afraid. hell, who wouldnt be afraid of nine months of shit?
ive come to far to give up now. looking back, time has past by so fast yet it feels so slow right now. time after time, i've been down but...
after looking at my family photo, after reading the letter from field camp, after looking thru the happy faces in facebook, somehow, i smiled. every soldier has their own motivation and i just mentioned mine. we all have something to fight for, not just soldiers, even normal civilians like u. studies, sports, you name it. its a competition out there.
after watching band of brothers, im inspired. It is not gonna be easy to be an officer and now is the time to make mistakes and LEARN from them. it is never too late in OCS.
whats your motivation?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
of fighting spirit
"endure"
"just a lil' bit more, fiq, just endure"
"u failed because of a stupid mistake, now its time to prove everyone that this is possible"
"cmon, just endure, glory is waiting"
"are you weak?"
"then run, run like you never run before"
knees felt weak, out of breathe, i kept running. i could really feel my lungs bursting, my legs collapsing any moment. i could my head feeling heavy, my heart beating so fast, i felt time was slowly down on me. the finishing line was just 400m away. it was painful. it was killing me softly but i had to go on. i had to do it.
when you know the end is near, but somehow something wants you to give up because it too painful. you know that you are trying your best. it isnt about physically challenging but it mentally challenging. but your mind got tired trying to fight the never-ending battle. and then it comes to this.
the fighting the spirit in YOU. it was like the last resort that i had left. the fighting spirit in me. i failed my SOC by 3 seconds because of a stupid mistake and i dont wanna repeat it again. its painful. a painful 9mins, i told myself.
100m left. i could already feel my feet burning inside my boots. i opened my strides, i swung my arms. 2 guys were infront of me within 25metres reach. of all people, Master Sergeant Ronnie was at the end line yelling at us, "THE THREE OF YOU BETTER OVERTAKE ONE ANOTHER, AND YOU, U FAILED BY A FEW SECONDS, YOU BETTER SPRINT AND OVERTAKE!"
somehow, the spirit in me started to burn, like an ember fired up. i pushed harder, overtaking the 1st man and almost reaching the 2nd man, i ended the test. 8:55. 9:29 was the passing mark.
the pain was gone. i just felt so relieved. the feeling was like, on top of the world. i hate near misses and thats why i felt sooooo joyous. im thankful for my instructors who kept poking me saying "3secs fiq, 3 secs" over the past few days. i just shook my head. but now i can hold my head up high. knowing ive passed it. its no big feat actually, but im actually making it so. haha. =D
fighting spirit. a spirit we will never realise the true potential till the hard and painful times. its what that keeps us going.
"just a lil' bit more, fiq, just endure"
"u failed because of a stupid mistake, now its time to prove everyone that this is possible"
"cmon, just endure, glory is waiting"
"are you weak?"
"then run, run like you never run before"
knees felt weak, out of breathe, i kept running. i could really feel my lungs bursting, my legs collapsing any moment. i could my head feeling heavy, my heart beating so fast, i felt time was slowly down on me. the finishing line was just 400m away. it was painful. it was killing me softly but i had to go on. i had to do it.
when you know the end is near, but somehow something wants you to give up because it too painful. you know that you are trying your best. it isnt about physically challenging but it mentally challenging. but your mind got tired trying to fight the never-ending battle. and then it comes to this.
the fighting the spirit in YOU. it was like the last resort that i had left. the fighting spirit in me. i failed my SOC by 3 seconds because of a stupid mistake and i dont wanna repeat it again. its painful. a painful 9mins, i told myself.
100m left. i could already feel my feet burning inside my boots. i opened my strides, i swung my arms. 2 guys were infront of me within 25metres reach. of all people, Master Sergeant Ronnie was at the end line yelling at us, "THE THREE OF YOU BETTER OVERTAKE ONE ANOTHER, AND YOU, U FAILED BY A FEW SECONDS, YOU BETTER SPRINT AND OVERTAKE!"
somehow, the spirit in me started to burn, like an ember fired up. i pushed harder, overtaking the 1st man and almost reaching the 2nd man, i ended the test. 8:55. 9:29 was the passing mark.
the pain was gone. i just felt so relieved. the feeling was like, on top of the world. i hate near misses and thats why i felt sooooo joyous. im thankful for my instructors who kept poking me saying "3secs fiq, 3 secs" over the past few days. i just shook my head. but now i can hold my head up high. knowing ive passed it. its no big feat actually, but im actually making it so. haha. =D
fighting spirit. a spirit we will never realise the true potential till the hard and painful times. its what that keeps us going.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
of the new year and being yourself
its a brand new year. and definitely theres a need for some resolutions.
1) commission SAFELY(i used to be so stubborn u see, injured/sick also want to chiong) as an Officer in the SAF. Commissioning Parade on the 13th June.
2) save money. must save save save save save already. always so broke last year.
3) learn as much as i can this year(too lazy sometimes last year)
4) not telling you! or you! :D
2008. just wow. so many things happened. Graduation, working for Asia Outdoors, enlisted to the Army on the 14th June and selected to go Officer Cadet School on the 22nd Sept. I must say, time pass really fast when you're looking back. The people i've met in AO and the army has broadened my perspective of every individuals and first impressions dont really last till u get to know them better.
AO instructors, so many of them work in different unique ways. the army, has exhausted me so much but i persevered. my recent injury, has demoralised me so much. if i had just one word to describe everything about 2008, the word is "mentality".
I have been down countless times during 2008 but something always kept me going. I remember i cried so hard during BMT when i received a letter from my family during our dreaded 6days field camp. i remember i got so tired while leading the students up gunung panti. i remember the exhausting times in army when theres alot of thought of just giving up. and so much more. 2008 made me realised that i have something in myself. and that is positive attitude that keeps me going in whatever the circumstances are.
I cared so much for the students during AO, I gave my all in the army(of course got slack times :D) and i put my heart and soul in everything i did. people would say pride, people would say crazy, people would say so many things but why should i care of what people say when i can be myself and yet enjoy the moments.
during my recent interview with my instructor in OCS, he asked me to rate myself in the platoon. 1 being the best, 5 being the worst. "2 sir" "no syafiq, you are 1, you are one of the best in the platoon and i want you to keep it up." those words shocked me and of course, i wanted to smile but i held back. haha. he questioned me again "what have u done and deserved this?" and i thought for a moment. i couldnt think of anything that could justify the question so i just said "i dont know?"
i went back to my bunk and gave alot of thought on that question. and then it struck me. If i dont know what ive done, then i was just BEING MYSELF. being yourself means that you have done something and you dont even realise it or even think about it for a moment before doing something. i had a mentality to come OCS and slack but i just couldnt :S haha!
but i must say, my recent knee injury has demoralised me alot. my fire has been down.im proud to say this tho, that my positive attitude has been trying its best to light the fire again. i have 5 more months left and i remember before coming to OCS, that i have NINE LONG MONTHS and now i left with 5. FIVE.
lets do this fiq. top priority: take care of that knee and STOP BEING STUBBORN!
RAWRS.
1) commission SAFELY(i used to be so stubborn u see, injured/sick also want to chiong) as an Officer in the SAF. Commissioning Parade on the 13th June.
2) save money. must save save save save save already. always so broke last year.
3) learn as much as i can this year(too lazy sometimes last year)
4) not telling you! or you! :D
2008. just wow. so many things happened. Graduation, working for Asia Outdoors, enlisted to the Army on the 14th June and selected to go Officer Cadet School on the 22nd Sept. I must say, time pass really fast when you're looking back. The people i've met in AO and the army has broadened my perspective of every individuals and first impressions dont really last till u get to know them better.
AO instructors, so many of them work in different unique ways. the army, has exhausted me so much but i persevered. my recent injury, has demoralised me so much. if i had just one word to describe everything about 2008, the word is "mentality".
I have been down countless times during 2008 but something always kept me going. I remember i cried so hard during BMT when i received a letter from my family during our dreaded 6days field camp. i remember i got so tired while leading the students up gunung panti. i remember the exhausting times in army when theres alot of thought of just giving up. and so much more. 2008 made me realised that i have something in myself. and that is positive attitude that keeps me going in whatever the circumstances are.
I cared so much for the students during AO, I gave my all in the army(of course got slack times :D) and i put my heart and soul in everything i did. people would say pride, people would say crazy, people would say so many things but why should i care of what people say when i can be myself and yet enjoy the moments.
during my recent interview with my instructor in OCS, he asked me to rate myself in the platoon. 1 being the best, 5 being the worst. "2 sir" "no syafiq, you are 1, you are one of the best in the platoon and i want you to keep it up." those words shocked me and of course, i wanted to smile but i held back. haha. he questioned me again "what have u done and deserved this?" and i thought for a moment. i couldnt think of anything that could justify the question so i just said "i dont know?"
i went back to my bunk and gave alot of thought on that question. and then it struck me. If i dont know what ive done, then i was just BEING MYSELF. being yourself means that you have done something and you dont even realise it or even think about it for a moment before doing something. i had a mentality to come OCS and slack but i just couldnt :S haha!
but i must say, my recent knee injury has demoralised me alot. my fire has been down.im proud to say this tho, that my positive attitude has been trying its best to light the fire again. i have 5 more months left and i remember before coming to OCS, that i have NINE LONG MONTHS and now i left with 5. FIVE.
lets do this fiq. top priority: take care of that knee and STOP BEING STUBBORN!
RAWRS.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
of searching for that certain person
im thankful for the 'long' 4days break.
i just spent an hour plus to look for my primary school crush since 1am.
i call that pure determination.
or maybe pure boredom. haha. i'll blog more soon!
i just spent an hour plus to look for my primary school crush since 1am.
i call that pure determination.
or maybe pure boredom. haha. i'll blog more soon!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
of pride and honour
4days of field camp. a short number of days compared to whats more to come. but the amount of sleep in total was just 5-6hours and the exhausting part was the digging of shellscrapes and fire trenches(they are like graves but not as deep) and the worst part was the rain.
my shellscrape(knee level deep,2 meters long) was in a middle of a quite steep slope. so when it rained, i could see a drainage(made by small channels of depressed soil) all the way from the "summit" to my shellscrape. so my whole shellscrape became a bath tub in 5mins full of mud water. and during the process, my buddy and I just completed our fire trench(chest level deep, 4metres long) and it was JUST beside my shellscrape. the only thing that we could think of at the point of time was to save the bloody fire trench because we cannot imagine digging another for 8hours when we dug the whole midnight to morning and instead of just having a bath tub, we could have a swimming pool in addition. haha.
so we practically rushed to dig a "drainage system" out of my shellscrape to somewhere safe. and looking back right now, no matter how tired u are, no matter how weak your body has become but somehow, you just gotta do something to save your own ass.
so we went for the shelter right after digging the drainage. an hour later rain stopped, so we proceeded back up to our diggin site. fortunately our fire trench was not filled with any water! luckily la. so i just had to dig my shellscrape again for just 30mins. happy happy only la. then suddenly our WALL for our firetrench COLLAPSED!!!
to cut the story short, we gotta dig the 'mud' out of our trench and reinforce the wall so it wont collapse again. burn midnight oil again :/
but again looking back now. its all pride now. going thru this shit was terribly fun even tho there were alot of shouting and scoldings. and theres more shit to come in another 6months time and im really looking forward to it. i was on duty to help out with the seniors' commisioning parade and i was the lucky few who got to see the whole parade. and it inspired me to do more for my professional term coming up in the last week of december.
they really put up to best show to the audience but i felt it wasnt a show. it was really all pride and honour. imagine going thru 9 months of endless training, booking in/out in the same day, the friendships bonded, the lessons learnt and etc. when they threw their peak cap high in the sky, i could see the joy and tears from everyone.
6 more months. thats all i have now. my turn will come. but im not gonna just go thru the motion, i'll be my best for these 6 months.
To Lead, To Excel and To Overcome. RAWR!
my shellscrape(knee level deep,2 meters long) was in a middle of a quite steep slope. so when it rained, i could see a drainage(made by small channels of depressed soil) all the way from the "summit" to my shellscrape. so my whole shellscrape became a bath tub in 5mins full of mud water. and during the process, my buddy and I just completed our fire trench(chest level deep, 4metres long) and it was JUST beside my shellscrape. the only thing that we could think of at the point of time was to save the bloody fire trench because we cannot imagine digging another for 8hours when we dug the whole midnight to morning and instead of just having a bath tub, we could have a swimming pool in addition. haha.
so we practically rushed to dig a "drainage system" out of my shellscrape to somewhere safe. and looking back right now, no matter how tired u are, no matter how weak your body has become but somehow, you just gotta do something to save your own ass.
so we went for the shelter right after digging the drainage. an hour later rain stopped, so we proceeded back up to our diggin site. fortunately our fire trench was not filled with any water! luckily la. so i just had to dig my shellscrape again for just 30mins. happy happy only la. then suddenly our WALL for our firetrench COLLAPSED!!!
to cut the story short, we gotta dig the 'mud' out of our trench and reinforce the wall so it wont collapse again. burn midnight oil again :/
but again looking back now. its all pride now. going thru this shit was terribly fun even tho there were alot of shouting and scoldings. and theres more shit to come in another 6months time and im really looking forward to it. i was on duty to help out with the seniors' commisioning parade and i was the lucky few who got to see the whole parade. and it inspired me to do more for my professional term coming up in the last week of december.
they really put up to best show to the audience but i felt it wasnt a show. it was really all pride and honour. imagine going thru 9 months of endless training, booking in/out in the same day, the friendships bonded, the lessons learnt and etc. when they threw their peak cap high in the sky, i could see the joy and tears from everyone.
6 more months. thats all i have now. my turn will come. but im not gonna just go thru the motion, i'll be my best for these 6 months.
To Lead, To Excel and To Overcome. RAWR!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
of good ol' karma force
031108 IPPT. missed the gold because i got a time for 9:49mins for 2.4km. needed 9:44mins.
211108 IPPT. missed the gold AGAIN, timing is 9:48mins.
utterly disappointed in the 2nd near miss to gold. i knew i could do it. but somehow my mind just totally switched off for the 2nd and 3rd round round the track. i was shitting myself after looking at my timing immediately after the run. really really disappointed. wanted to prove to my PC that i can get that gold since he told me to aim for silver for Service Term first. but looking at the bright side of life(humming the song lol) at least i proved him that i can do it by a near miss.
FOUR seconds. i used to make fun of those who get near misses too. this is why now i believe in karma.
sad. but hey! theres always next time! :D and i know i will get that gold!
anyways, regarding the previous post, like today, 12-14hours of bookout. Book out at 6am. Booking in at 6-8pm. rawrs. life's never easy in OCS.
211108 IPPT. missed the gold AGAIN, timing is 9:48mins.
utterly disappointed in the 2nd near miss to gold. i knew i could do it. but somehow my mind just totally switched off for the 2nd and 3rd round round the track. i was shitting myself after looking at my timing immediately after the run. really really disappointed. wanted to prove to my PC that i can get that gold since he told me to aim for silver for Service Term first. but looking at the bright side of life(humming the song lol) at least i proved him that i can do it by a near miss.
FOUR seconds. i used to make fun of those who get near misses too. this is why now i believe in karma.
sad. but hey! theres always next time! :D and i know i will get that gold!
anyways, regarding the previous post, like today, 12-14hours of bookout. Book out at 6am. Booking in at 6-8pm. rawrs. life's never easy in OCS.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
of the precious weekends
why oh why do weekends seem so short?
field camp was great. exhausting but great.
the sudden thought of my poly days came to mind during the field camp.
gosh. how i miss school. 5months in the army already and 19 to go. still unsure of where to go really.
all i know is that im looking forward to every weekend from now on and spend it wisely.
rawrs.
field camp was great. exhausting but great.
the sudden thought of my poly days came to mind during the field camp.
gosh. how i miss school. 5months in the army already and 19 to go. still unsure of where to go really.
all i know is that im looking forward to every weekend from now on and spend it wisely.
rawrs.
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