of the new year and being yourself

its a brand new year. and definitely theres a need for some resolutions.

1) commission SAFELY(i used to be so stubborn u see, injured/sick also want to chiong) as an Officer in the SAF. Commissioning Parade on the 13th June.
2) save money. must save save save save save already. always so broke last year.
3) learn as much as i can this year(too lazy sometimes last year)
4) not telling you! or you! :D

2008. just wow. so many things happened. Graduation, working for Asia Outdoors, enlisted to the Army on the 14th June and selected to go Officer Cadet School on the 22nd Sept. I must say, time pass really fast when you're looking back. The people i've met in AO and the army has broadened my perspective of every individuals and first impressions dont really last till u get to know them better.

AO instructors, so many of them work in different unique ways. the army, has exhausted me so much but i persevered. my recent injury, has demoralised me so much. if i had just one word to describe everything about 2008, the word is "mentality".

I have been down countless times during 2008 but something always kept me going. I remember i cried so hard during BMT when i received a letter from my family during our dreaded 6days field camp. i remember i got so tired while leading the students up gunung panti. i remember the exhausting times in army when theres alot of thought of just giving up. and so much more. 2008 made me realised that i have something in myself. and that is positive attitude that keeps me going in whatever the circumstances are.

I cared so much for the students during AO, I gave my all in the army(of course got slack times :D) and i put my heart and soul in everything i did. people would say pride, people would say crazy, people would say so many things but why should i care of what people say when i can be myself and yet enjoy the moments.

during my recent interview with my instructor in OCS, he asked me to rate myself in the platoon. 1 being the best, 5 being the worst. "2 sir" "no syafiq, you are 1, you are one of the best in the platoon and i want you to keep it up." those words shocked me and of course, i wanted to smile but i held back. haha. he questioned me again "what have u done and deserved this?" and i thought for a moment. i couldnt think of anything that could justify the question so i just said "i dont know?"

i went back to my bunk and gave alot of thought on that question. and then it struck me. If i dont know what ive done, then i was just BEING MYSELF. being yourself means that you have done something and you dont even realise it or even think about it for a moment before doing something. i had a mentality to come OCS and slack but i just couldnt :S haha!

but i must say, my recent knee injury has demoralised me alot. my fire has been down.im proud to say this tho, that my positive attitude has been trying its best to light the fire again. i have 5 more months left and i remember before coming to OCS, that i have NINE LONG MONTHS and now i left with 5. FIVE.

lets do this fiq. top priority: take care of that knee and STOP BEING STUBBORN!

RAWRS.