something phenomenal happened during my first day of camp in Kota Rainforest Resort.
like joe said in the vid, its something like a rainbow but its not a rainbow. we could see colours of a rainbow but as we know, rainbows are not like that. colours were clustered and was not in order and yeah, i dont know what it was. lol
i had a good talk with mum, or rather, she was talking to me and i was listening. heh. i guess its really time to save up for the future. ive always wanted to do it but i guess i really should start now. better now than never =)
so here is the list of what i want.
-oakley specs -rooney man utd jersey -wallet -digital watch -many many clothes -levis jeans (because my black ones are really really bangy now haha) -ps3 -new computer -alot more lar
it actually all boils down to what i NEED. -save up for the future.
i guess i dont really need them yet. im happy with what i have. i know, i know, temptation is very strong because im working right now but i guess i can always throw temptation out of the window.
for eg. my laptop, its still fine, altho abit outdated but i still can use it :D my wallet, its like shit already but hey i still can use it. my digital watch, the crown is gonna come out anytime soon i think but i still can use it my specs, some part corroded, but hey, it still nice and im still wearing it.
i guess i dont really NEED anything now. maybe when i win a million bucks..
YA RIGHT FUCKING DREAM ON FIQ. heh.
anyway i'll be away till friday. till then, take care and have a good night. (2am, and i have to wake up at 520, yay for pre camp insomnia!)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
i wanted to type something but then i remember i posted it before.
all i need now is to commit myself. which is what im always afraid of.
but why should i, i ask myself. all i have to do is to make time, and if i dont have time, find time. =) she's got me love stoned man i swear she's bad and she knows i think that she knows...
as much as i want to type on what happened during the 12th of March, i feel that i should just say that when you have approached death and stared it right in the face, you know you should treasure life as much as you can because death isnt funny.
it IS scary.
i know i did a personality question and said that death is adventurous. from now on im not gonna take things for granted. for whatever reason it is, for safety's sake, just fucking do it.
ive been telling people that answers are just right infront of their eyes. oddly enough, i dont heed my own advice but tonight was different. i found my answer after much wondering and searching and yes, two words.
move on, fiq. (dont include the fiq =P)
many great things happened on the 12th-14th of March but im just gonna leave it as that, for it WAS a blessing in disguise, for now at least. heh
the music and the plot suited each other. ive watched this a million times and it still gives me the goosebumps when the guy dropped the rose at the end.
love is a crime, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.
and yes im back. snap back to reality fiq. snap back... its the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you its the wrong time for somebody new. its a small crime and i've got no excuse.
i dont know. on the way back home from the camp, i decided to walk super slow after alighting the bus and walked a longer route, with music shutting my ears from everything. then i thought of how i could be a better man and instructor to these kids. mind you, taking care of 22 students is a heavy load on my shoulders and making them happy just adds on. to be prefectly honest, i love my job. it struck my mind during the Pelepah Waterfalls trekking(heavy heavy rain), that what im doing is what i love. i started looking left and right.
to the right, Joe, holding a tree trunk, helping the kids, knowing a mistake might cost him his life because he has little space to work with. to the left, Andrew, my section IC who had to decide the fate of 100kids, knowing one wrong decision could cost many lives. myself, informing the kids where to step on, one wrong step could lead to a slip and could hit their heads on a rock. "ok right foot here, left foot there, right foot here again, ok good, well done well done, jiayou, (taps their hand)" how i wish i had a tape recorder lol and a lil bit of motivation works =)
yes. its not as easy as it seems, but im not scaring you guys too. have faith in yourself.
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you know. when i saw you on that day, in pain, i was really worried. no one knew how i felt, because i was the last man of the trek. but when people turn to look at me, they said "eh fiq why u suddenly emo". true fact i was not emo but i was really worried about you. also felt really damn fucking useless because there was nothing i could do to help. i asked the people around you whether u were ok. i was concerned and very worried. i told kelvin to take care of you because i couldnt leave my 'last man' position. still i felt really bad. when u cried, my heart just sank.
this is a late post. but somehow, keeping feelings to myself is not helping. it was great to see u smiling again the next day. =)
so. yes. i r back. like. who. cares. :D LONG POST INCOMING.
23rd and 24th feb. my 2nd AO training camp because i was, like i said, bored shitless out of my skull and needed to memorise the trekking route for the 27th-29th camp. always a different experience on a different day. like u know the route, which is good, but can be bad as well because u really want to be cautious because u know there is something bad somewhere.
back to the swimming pool, i decided to be a "little" bit "adventurous". did many dives - frontflip, backflip, spiderman, karate and many more la. i wish i have photos/videos now man. then we all started to push each other into the pool. RAWR took 5 people to bring me down and if anyone did bring me down, i will always bring someone with me. :D
26th-29th feb. Deyi Secondary Adventure Camp. the kids were great except for a handful, but hey, u cant expect everyone to be cooperative. it was an eye opener for me because it was the first time working with other AO instructors, so i dont really know their style. great bunch of people. many things to learn from them. the camp was really, to be honest, messy in terms of programmes, because the school decided to confirm everything last minute, so the instructors really have to crack their heads and think of something ON THE SPOT. remember OB's t-shirt quote?
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -Martin Luther King Jr. for clement and shujuan, you could prolly explain this quote on the very first day of training. link it with meaning of "Outward Bounders". just a suggestion =)
my point is, u can really see why they are instructors/leaders. im not saying i never do anything la. self praise is no praise =P
and i know, i know, my aunt serra wants to hear this . . . . im blacker now. :(
