of ...

I guess it's official.

All I can do now is smile and pretend that everything's the same.

If you're happy, then I wish you well because I have been a coward.

Let's start all over again eh, fiq?

of being an instructor

It's been a week since I came back from St. Theresa's Convent Pulau Ubin Camp. To be honest, the girls were wonderful. After a 2 year hiatus, I was back in the business. Working as an instructor is far more fulfilling than any other jobs I have taken up so far. Of so many camps that I have done, this was the only camp that had the most impact on me and of course, I almost cried - multiple times.

I had to serve the girls.

I had to carry alooot of logistics for the events.

I had to teach.

I had to boost their morale.

I had to do many other things that at the end of the night, I felt satisfied of my achievements.

But importantly, when I decided I would take up the job, I had only one goal in mind - To change their lives or at most, give them the best ever camp experience of their lifetime. Thanks to my mirror instructor and attached instructor, we worked together to achieve our common goal.

The best feeling ever?

It wasn't the time to sleep.

It wasn't the time I could rest.

It wasn't the time I was all alone in my own world.

It was when the girls and their teacher approached me to say one simple word.

"Thanks." - with the best ever sincerity they could ever show me when I look in their eyes.

And to me, it wasn't about the money when I did the job.

But I won my kind of million dollars. :)

of another song

of two values

I have to be honest. The past three days were hectic and mind draining. I can't believe that it's Thursday already.

I hate it when very clear instructions were given out weeks before and people don't heed them. And because of these people, I have to wait for their submissions and work even harder to meet the deadline. My colleague said this "Two values that people will never change. Stupidity and Stubbornness."

but I'm glad the impossible became possible. Job's done and I need a break. But no... more things coming up.

3 more months to ORD. and my Commander said this to me before I left his room.

"Syafiq, don't ORD ok."

I smiled, shook my head, and walked away.

and i realised today that i'm kinda lonely. :/

of your thinking

Sometimes I wonder,

Why am I tanking all the big events when the other is just doing a simple task.

Why am I doing this when the other can eat his lunch and I can't.

Why am I wearing that rank which people will always look up to me and ask me the 5 W and 1 H.

Everyday I ask myself these questions.

If one could change one's thinking, the world can be different.

Just imagine.

It starts to pour heavily on a beautiful day.

Person A might feel "Arghhh I hate the rain"

Person B might feel "Wow good weather for once!"

You see, that's just a simple example. But I hope I make my point.

That what you feel is what you think.

Everyday I will think that I am the right man for the job.

Everyday I will think that people trust in me and that's why they ask these questions.

Everyday I will think on how to make people happy.

And I don't go

"Ah Fuck my Life, everything I also kena"

"Why is the work bearing me dowwwnnnn"

"Why are you people asking me sooo many questions when I am so busy?!"

If I am beating around the bush, I am saying that,

Your thinking can change who you are.

Think about it.

of the little things

He was intelligent and a bright young man but nothing can be taken for granted ever since he attempted suicide only recently. He blamed his mum, exclaimed that she does not deserve to be a mother. He further on explained that he was deeply disappointed with his mum and being disappointed is much worse than being angry, which I totally agreed with him. His dad? Well, he passed away 11 years ago.

I compared his life to mine and I'm so ever grateful for my good family upbringing. My parents worked so hard for all four of us to be where we are today. They are getting old and I guess it is my filial duty to take care of them now. Every month I would give them $100 each and would at least plan a dinner or movie with them to hang out as one happy family. These are the little things we human choose to avoid, mainly love and commitment.

After my stint in the many adventure camps and army trainings, the experience gained made me believe that life should not be taken for granted. We all should enjoy what we have, even if it means that you are one level down than the rest. Why? Because happiness is a wonderful thing.

Remember, always enjoy the little things.

of looking in yer eyes

I don't wanna look in your eyes someday, I see no spark, no love, no life.

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That would break my heart.