of inside of love

this is an old song, but old songs doesnt mean they die.

and no, I'm not emo. hah!

of a New Year part 2

but... I have no regrets, because no one should live with regrets.

Ever since the new year began, I've done so many thing I should have done last year. A medical checkup on my knee, which I am going through physiotherapy now, made an appointment for my Dental Checkup for my gum problems, met up with friends to catch up and get medication for my disgusting foot rot. Still, there are many more on the to-do-list, but hey, this is only the first month!

I got confused when I was planning for my future. I mean, really, there's so many things one can do. I wanted to fly, study, go back to playing sports competitively again, just to name a few. I even had trouble thinking of what new year's resolutions I should have.

I was searching for my notebook in my office and I stumbled upon a book which I decided to take a peek. And strangely enough, the page that I flipped to said this "First ask yourself this question, what do you want?" and it further explains that by asking this question alone solves the many questions in your head. I chuckled at my luck and I sat down in the cold office thinking of what I want.

And now I know. Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. I'm still in the midst of writing down of what I want but at least I made the first move and I'm glad I did.

so, what do you want?

of a New Year part 1

Here it is again.

A brand new year.

I must say, 2009 was really full of ups and downs.

It tested my limits,
brought me to hell and back,
showed me who are I really love,
opened my eyes to who my true friends are,
gifted me the opportunity to learn and grow,
directed me a path to what is true leadership,
taught me that life should not be taken for granted,
enlightened me that the world is out there waiting for you,
presented that dreams are not all about reality but fears as well,
and made me believe that one can make a huge difference in a person's life.

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Fears are part of parcel of life. It is how we want to overcome them or just chicken out and let the fear ruin the mind. If we don't take calculated risks, we will never walk the talk and from there, we cannot walk the walk.

I'm half-smiling while I'm typing. Why? Because for 2009, I was always afraid. But this is 2010, where I know I must overcome the fears because if I don't try, I will never, ever, know. Man, I should be crowned the King of Procrastinators in 2009. There were so many things that I should have done but...

of that lonely christmas

I've got alot of things to say.

But this post is solely dedicated to Christmas.

So....

MERRY XMAS YO!

of leading by example

4am.

I'm tired yet I can't sleep. But I'm grateful as I'm taking this time to reflect on the past month. I do enjoy my work now, ironically because I hate desk-bound jobs. I have learned so much and this is what I would take away from my National Service.

Being an Officer isn't easy. Oh hell, who said it would be easy? But again, I'm not complaining. It just pushes me on fer greater things. On top of the pile of work, I still take some time off and people would think I'm not working. But I can't imagine myself working straight 7-8hours each day. I walk around, workout in the gym, talk to my men and whatever else to get work out of mind. One very important take away from this month would be taking care of the men under me. I can't just work and work and work and forget about my men.

I had some time to know them, to befriend them and to draw the line when I need to. And it's paying off thankfully. And strangely enough, they are the ones who motivate me to work. Respect is a mutual thing and it's damn hard to earn it.

"I answer for their training, morale and discipline." from the Officer's Creed.

Live by the Creed.

I'm not angry and I never will, just.. disappointed.

of anywhere but here

I remember the day back in OCS, when my buddy asked me this question:

"If you had any power, be it superhuman or from superheroes in the comics/movies, what would it be?"

I pondered for awhile, and answered, "The power to persuade to do anything I desire, the act of coercion". He nodded. "That's actually a personality question." Further on he probed another question,

What would be the Weakness of this power? - I wouldn't be able to do it on someone I love the most.

"So what does these questions mean?", I asked.

"You'll find out one day."

And strangely enough, that moment is still stuck in my head...

of essence of leadership

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles...they don't flock, you find them one at a time."